His title really spoke to me as I was listening to Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.’s talk about finding ways to feel better during difficult times.
Since I am obsessed with helping moms and couples with young kiddos in keeping their love and happiness alive, while busily raising their families, I had to pass this on to you. I know many young families are struggling with everything going on in the world and I hope this can bring you some hopeful and meaningful ideas on creating happiness.
Let’s keep in mind that there is hope on the horizon. We have a new leader here in the United States, and the Covid vaccine is here! It saddens me that there has been so much loss and world strife, yet there is so much to be grateful for! I just couldn’t resist sharing Elisha’s message with you . . .
He described two kinds of happiness:
“Hedonic happiness, which is focused around pleasure, is focused around when I get this thing then I’ll be happy”. It’s like when my husband got a company truck years ago. He was so excited and happy, but the happiness soon wore off. He realized that what really made him happy was taking family trips in the truck, where we talked, played games and listened to our kiddos laughing along the way. This example leads me to another type of happiness . . .
The other type of happiness he referred to, “What the Greek called eudaimonic happiness. Eudaimonic happiness is more around having a sense of purpose and meaning. It’s a deeper form of happiness, that’s more enduring.”
He goes on to say, “It’s not an ‘I’ll be happier when . . .’ It’s, can I find a sense of meaning and purpose in what’s happening right now?”
For you moms and couples with young children, I hope some of these prompts will help you find ways to find some happiness and connection that's in your control, even though there are so many troubling things going on in the world right now.
Dr. Goldstein’s recommends the following suggestions, which I've personalized for you, to move you towards feeling more connected, and a greater sense of purpose and support for you and your family right now:
What do you really appreciate about your partner right now?
Will you move that gratitude into generosity by sharing exactly what you appreciate about your partner, specifically?
What do you appreciate about yourself?
What do you appreciate about your children?
What are you grateful for?
What’s your favorite way to move your body right now?
When was the last time you danced with your partner, your kids, or just by yourself?
Have you phoned a friend recently? Or zoomed? Or facetimed?
Have you been able to connect with your partner and family in a playful way?
It hurts you and others to hold onto anger or other negative feelings. How can you begin to forgive and let go?
I know it’s so tempting to eat comfort food right now. Once in a while that’s not a problem.
What are your favorite healthy foods? Do you notice how much better you feel after eating something healthy versus unhealthy foods or drinks.
Do you have a healthy sleep practice? Are you turning off your electronic devices, television, especially the news at least an hour before you go to bed?
I’m loving sleepy-time tea right now.
Do you and your partner have a favorite Netflix show you are watching together?
What’s your favorite show that brings you calm and peace before you go to bed?
What’s your favorite Disney movie to watch with your kiddos? I smiled when I saw and heard a couple walking through the park with their toddler, cranking the Disney music.
I love watching national geographic shows, especially at bedtime.
What about you??
These are only some ideas for how to find happiness. The key is to make it a regular practice.
Use the above ideas to personalize to your life so they can bring meaning and happiness to you. Remember, when you’re happy the ripple effects stretch out to your partner, your kiddos, your community, and the world.
How can you create practices that give you meaning, purpose and happiness even in a F’d up world?
Just hit reply to let me know what is working for you. I check my email personally and value your ideas and what’s working for you moms and couples with young kiddos.
Thinking of you and your families,
P.S. Here's my personal BCT email, [email protected]. Let me know what's working for you even during these difficult times.
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Are you a parent with a young child or two? Then I bet you're feeling frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed with the never-ending To Do list that comes with growing a family. This "Date State" guide will help you feel closer and more connected in your marital/couple relationship!